Good bye 2006

Today I am overjoyed to say good bye to an old year . I rejoice in saying good bye to the woman who didn't know how to say "NO". Good bye to depression and self-doubt. I will reinvent myself in 2007 taking with me all the lessons I learned in 2006 with no plans for any remedial 2006 classes. I will move forward equipped with the strength and perseverence I gained in 2006. I leave behind negative thoughts and feelings of being unworthy. I will be an adveturer and explore new things. I am prepared and anxiously awaiting 2007.

God bless to everyone and be safe. See you on the other side.

Resolutions

Merry Christmas and Happy Holidays to all. This is the time of year when many of us start re evaluating our lives. I know every year I feel I fall short of my goals. This year I resolve to make the most of my time. Too much time is wasted on worrying about what other people have,say about us or think. This year I will only concern myself about what I think is right for me and my son. I will not second guess myself because of something said to me or let anyone use my own fears against me. I challenge all of you to accomplish as much as you can and trust your own instincts.

Pursuit of Happiness

I have been hearing a lot about the movie "Pursuit of Happiness" starring Will Smith. I also watched the CNN special report from Homeless to Wall Street. People are quick to criticise others who are struggling. CNN covered the working poor. Many of us work hard and do what we believe is the right things and yet we struggle. It was good to hear that I wasn't alone or entirely at fault. Things happen in life over which we may have no control. I am not saying all my struggles are due to life alone or other people but I do know I work hard to provide for myself and my son. There are a lot of single-parent households. You can't make someone stay or take responsibility. The government doesn't care and the Calvary isn't coming. I did gain some tips on how to save a little more and more importantly words of wisdom and the strength to carry on. My troubles are here to endure for now. It doesn't have to be a permanent problem. Mr. Gardner went from homeless to wealthy. He did this while being a single parent for a young son.

I want to say enjoy your holidays and keep your faith. There's a new year coming. We can make a fresh start and change our spending habits. You and your children brown bag it for lunch. Think about it. If you spend $10 a day normally for lunch you can save about $150 per month by taking your lunch. I deducted some money from the savings because you would need to buy the sandwich meat plus bread to accomplish this task. Write down daily for a month every penny you spend. You highlight rent,food,utilities,car notes etc. everything not highlighted is discretionary and you can do without. I wish you all the best for the holidays and a more financially stable New Year.

The start of strong self esteem

I am a single mother of a terrific 8 year old boy. My son is bright but because he was very premature and because I felt guilty that his dad wasn't there for him he's been babied. Now my son is being teased at school. Let me start by saying he is a good kid but he's also annoying. He's the kid when you say don't touch me he either touches you anyway or keeps going as close to you as he can without actually touching you. He isn't malicious and he doesn't hurt anyone. The kids at school call him names because they can get a reaction out of him and because he is known to be a little pesky the teacher assumes it his fault always. Now my son thinks he's bad,stupid and ugly. I tell him everyday that he's very smart, he's good and he's handsome but that doesn't seem to be enough. How do you help a boy build up a tough skin without making him lose his caring nature?

"You think you're better"

I have heard that most of my life. I have been accused of thinking I am better than someone because of my skin color and my hair or because I carry myself a certain way. I spent years trying to explain myself but with maturity I realize it was never my problem. I was raised by strict Jamaican parents. It wasn't acceptable for a young lady to be out on the street corner hanging out. I do not yell to people down the block and I despise having my name screamed out on the street. I don't look down on people who do that I am just not comfortable carrying myself in this manner. I only ask that they respect my feelings and not cream my name in the street.
I had no control over the color of my skin or the length of my hair. I never understood why people felt that my complexion made me feel superior. I come from a diverse family. I wasn't aware how important color and long hair was to people until it was brought to my attention. I for one like my hair long because I hate doing hair. Long hair can easily be put back into a ponytail or a bun. Most of my female cousins have long hair so it was never a big deal. I looked like everyone else. My skin color could have been an issue if I cared. When we first moved from the city to the suburbs there was one other family of color on the block. The kids wouldn't play with me because they said I was white. My skin is not that light. The white children wouldn't play with me either. I am an only child and quite comfortable enertaining myself. I also had a lot of toys. When the other kids saw the toys I had they forgot my color. This was in the early 70's. I was a confident child and never thought as a person of color I had any restrictions. I think that was partly due to my Jamaican Heritage. In Jamaica you see people in all types of professions that look like me, a person of color. I was very influenced by the label you think you are better and spent time with people who weren't doing the right things or weren't good for me just so I could prove I didn't think I was better. Now I realize people will think what the want of me regardless. I'm not stuck up just a little reserved. It is my nature to be quiet until I get to know you. I don't think I'm better than anyone I'm just trying to be the best person I can be.

Addicted to toxic men

I'm the woman you can place in a room full of men all dressed nicely with only one worthless man in the room. I will end up with the bad one. It's always the man who cannot speak proper English who has a mouth full of gold teeth and no ambition who approaches me. I don't get it. I'm not a bad person and I have been told by men and women alike that I am attractive. I speak properly and I have a good education. Why me?
The men I pick have all carried themselves well until they think I'm hooked then like the transformers they change to something completely different. I have been told I am too nice. I do spoil the men in my life and I try not to be judgemental. I also have the bad habit of letting pity rule my heart. I take care of myself so all I ask is that I am treated nicely and that the man in my life takes care of his responsibilities.

Is there a such thing as true love? Is the whole Cosby Show type of love just a fairy tale?

How can someone walk away from a child

I never could understand how someone can walk away from a child,their own blood. I see many single parent households and even though that's not the ideal way to raise a child many of us are doing it. Once I looked into my son's face all I could think about is how I was going to do all that I could to raise him right and protect him. I couldn't imagine knowing I have a child out there in the world and not know how he is doing. I can understand if you made the choice to give up your child so they could have a better life. How can somone just walk away?